Dealing with the festive season

Christmas is one of those times of year that presents both excitement and challenges for most people. For those who are trying to conceive the increased time spent with friends and family can bring up a variety of feelings.
Repromed counsellor Lani Eagle has some tips for dealing with the festive season.

Be kind to yourself

It’s ok to feel sad, angry, or jealous. Don’t beat yourself up about feeling this way, these are normal feelings or responses to your situation.  Recognise these feelings as they arise, take some deep breaths, and allow the feelings to pass.  Tell close friends and family if you are feeling sad or in need of a hug and a sympathetic ear.

Give yourself permission to miss an event that you will find hard

The Christmas period can often feel like an endurance event of social gatherings.  Consider missing gatherings that you might find draining for instance where there are babies or people who might ask when you are having a baby.  If close friends or family are aware you are trying to conceive, you can explain that you find these events hard at the moment and need to look after your emotional wellbeing.

Prepare to side step the “when are you starting a family” question –

There will always be a well-intentioned family member or friend asking this question at gatherings.  Think of an answer beforehand so you can reply and move on quickly.  Try something like “we’ll let you know when we have news to share” followed by a change of subject.

Make plans

Your main goal might be to get pregnant, but don’t forget to plan some fun to look forward to as well.  Focus on the things that you enjoy in life and explore new ones.  Taking some time out to relax can help you recharge for the coming year.

Focus on others

Shifting the focus from trying to conceive to helping others can help relieve some of the pressure you may be feeling.  Embrace the Christmas spirit and visit an elderly neighbour or relative or volunteer for a charity.  You’ll be making a difference in someone else’s life while feeling empowered.

Make the most of being childfree

You never know when you might have a baby and although it’s what you want most, a baby does take up a lot of time.  So head to the beach with a book, binge-watch TV, hang out with friends who don’t have kids. Or spend time with friends who are also struggling to conceive – your shared experience will help you feel understood.


We are with you through this testing time in your life, and all the Repromed team are here to support you.  All IVF / IUI treatments include at least one free session with an experienced fertility counsellor, or you can book a 15-minute phone consultation with a fertility doctor free of charge.  Email or call 0800 483 105 to book.

Repromed provides fertility treatment with heart. Based in Auckland, both public and private treatment is available and all are welcome. Kia Kaha.

Individual results may vary dependent on your personal circumstances.